Key Lime Pie

I like key lime pie.  I’ve liked it ever since my grandmother introduced me to it at some Easter party years and years and years ago.  This was the “Pie Grandma” not the “Cake Grandma”.  There was a distinction in our family as to which was which based on what they usually served at dinners.  Pie Grandma made her key lime pie with real key limes, e.g. she went to the store, bought a bag of limes, squeezed the juice out, grated the peel, and cut fancy wedges of what was left of the fruit to decorate it.  

Let’s just say that my first attempt to recreate this pie did not go well.  I assembled all the ingredients, the cracker crust, the cherries, the cream cheese (I think it was cream cheese) and bag of limes.  Only….I forgot to read the entire recipe and ended up squeezing the ENTIRE bag of limes into lime juice, which made the entire pie something of a novelty in the “O.O face” department.  I haven’t tried to make it since then, but I still love me some key lime pie.  Which was why I was interested to see the bakery’s offering the other day of something they called “key lime cupcakes.”

Interesting!  They were those little mini cupcakes that you buy to make yourself feel better about not consuming a huge hunk of cake, only you end up eating like, three of them because really, they’re just a BITE of cupcake, and one can never have just a bite of cupcake.  They looked good, white cake with key lime colored frosting swirls on the top, with a white star topping that looked like whipped cream.  They smelled appropriately lime-y.  So I bought them and took them home, happily anticipating key lime cupcake bliss.  I mean, hey, if key lime pie is good and cupcakes are good, what could possibly go wrong with this combination?

The first taste of frosting was awesome.  Tart, creamy, and just the right amount of sour tang.  I then made what turned out to be a fatal mistake - I put the whole mini cupcake into my eager mouth, chomping down into what I thought was going to be the most awesome culinary delight since chocolate lava brownies.  I was wrong, oh so very wrong.

The moment the combination of tangy, tart frosting and sweet, sugary cake hit my tongue, my mouth seemed to go into some sort of emergency air lock mode.  My jaw locked open.  My eyes bulged from their sockets in an attempt to free themselves from my skull and discern for themselves what, exactly, I had put into my mouth.  My tongue made a frantic escape attempt, hampered by the fact that I was drooling copiously, slobbering greenish foam down my chin.  I staggered around the kitchen, making “Auugh, awwuhh auuff!!” noises and yanking on my hair.  (I think I was trying to reason with my tongue while levering my eyeballs back into place, the memory is a bit fuzzy)

At some point I made it to the sink and spat out the remains of the key mutant cup lime cake from hell, and spent the next ten minutes or so gargling with cherry pepsi.  I did have fun, however, feeding the rest of the cupcakes to Mr. Garbage Disposal, who is far less picky about what he puts into his mouth.  Needless to say, I have been a bit more selective about anything labeled “key lime” that is not actually pie.  So imagine my interest and hesitation when I noticed, in the check out counter line yesterday, a pack of Extra Sugar Free Gum labeled “Key Lime Pie”.

As wary as I am of such things, some perverse monkey-demon that lives in my soul started demanding I buy it at once and try it out.  Giving in to the monkey-demon is far easier than listening to it whine, which is why I went out last night at 9 pm for tacos, but that’s another post…to make the deal more fair, I bought the entire line of “Dessert delights” line that Extra is putting out.  Strawberry shortcake, Orange Creme Pop, Key Lime Pie, and Mint Chocolate Ice Cream.  I tried the strawberry shortcake first, and it tasted of sugary asscake.  The orange creme pop is satisfactorily orange-y.  The mint chocolate chip, oh sweet skateboarding raptor zombies, is to die for.

The key lime pie?  It’s still sitting, wrapped, on top of my computer.  The perverse monkey-demon is whining at me to unwrap it and try it already.  It smells nice and lime-y, he says.  Come on, it can’t be all that bad, he says.  You can always spit it out!  And I try, I really do.  But every time I reach for that pack of gum, my tongue starts to edge nervously away, and my eyeballs itch.  They override the monkey-demon.  For now.  I mean, key lime is key lime…..right?

Cyber-bullying in the World of Warcraft

Let me start this out with a small disclaimer: I was bullied from elementary school through high school. This was before the issue of bullying found itself in the national spotlight. When I was a teenager, it was just a part of life, wherever you found yourself on the food chain. In college, writing a term paper on the subject, I found a way to fight back. Everywhere I have been on the internet, I have fought back. I have banned people from forums, I have written comments and letters condemning bullying behavior, and the people that condone it. It is the one topic that will always make me burn for a fight, because I have enabled myself to fight back. I hope this article will help to enable others to fight back, too. Does that make me an instigator? Probably.
There are many different types of cyber-bullying in WoW, from raid members that ruthlessly taunt an underperforming raider, to trolls on an RP server that spend their time spamming emotes at other people who are trying to enjoy their game. I’ll be honest, I am not a hardcore raider. My server is an RP server, even the most “elite” raiding guilds here have nothing on the raiders from a server dedicated to progression. Though this is my primary area of expertise, the following examples can be found on every server:
Griefers: This type of bully will hang around an area where others are trying to play. They will butt into the game with inane sayings, emotes, or physically move their toon on top of others, obstructing their vision. This is against Blizzard’s Terms of Use, but very hard to prove, unless you’ve got a screenshot, or multiple screenshots.

Trolls: Trolls come in many forms, but for the sake of simplicity, I will define them as an all around lunkhead. They come to a server with no intention of following rules or conventions, and will taunt those who do. This type will sometimes focus on a single player. Example: There is a player on my RP server who plays a giant. She are taunted on a daily basis for her height, her style of roleplay, and the story she has chosen to convey for her character. Different people, even those who normally do not bully, sink to trolling when this character appears. To her everlasting credit, I have never seen her snap.

Elitists/Classists/Gearists, etc: These are the people who have done it all, seen it all, know it all, and cannot wait to tell you about it - usually by telling you everything you are doing wrong.  This can make a PuG unbearable, a raid intolerable, and a game unenjoyable.  This type of bully can be the hardest to avoid, especially if they belong to your guild or raid group.  They can always be counted on to say something snide about your gear, your talents, or your rotation.  Over time this kind of abuse can wear a person down to the point of quitting.  Feeling forced to quit something you enjoy is just as discouraging as being constantly told you’re worthless.

Lore-Nazis: These are probably the most difficult bully to ignore. They have read up on Blizzard’s lore (either thoroughly or inexpertly) and insist that they know anything and everything better than anyone else. They are usually (but not always) found on RP servers. If they see you roleplaying in a way that does not conform to their version of canon, they will harass you relentlessly. The worst will follow you from character to character, alt to alt, regardless of whether or not you have told them to stop. This type of bully is easier to report, but in all likelyhood, unless they do it repeatedly, very little is done to stop the abuse.

There is a guild on my server that is comprised solely of this type of lore-nazi. They present themselves as roleplayers, and they have manged to gather a following. Their interpretation of lore is strict, racist, and bigoted. I could point out that though this guild is following the lore that existed before the Sundering, it is now after the Shattering and they are some few millenia behind the times….but that’s just me. I have compiled a list of some 46 incidents of harassment by this guild’s members or their guild leader, against me and others. Since Blizzard has allowed the creation of Night Elf mages, they have taken it upon themselves to harass players who have rolled one. They have labeled these players “scum” and “abominations.” Usually, they will set upon a player in a pack of no less than four, which is organized bullying at its worst. Players who roll death knights are worse off. I have 12 documented incidents, four of them in whispers, where players who have Death Knights are told, among other things, to kill themselves because they simply have no right to exist. Their characters are not “valid”. In character this would be bad enough, but these incidents were out of character and directed at a real person, behind the screen.

Why is this type of behavior allowed? Technically, it isn’t. Bullying, griefing, and harassment is against Blizzard’s terms of use, even if it is lore-specific. It is against the rules to continue to harass someone once they have expressed that the contact is unwelcome. And yet hardly anyone speaks up against this type of violation, either because they think it is too petty to report, or they believe Blizzard will do nothing. And for the most part, Blizzard seems content to turn a blind eye.

Bullying continues because people stay silent. Bullies are empowered when they have no opposition. An empowered bully will become more and more of a problem, until it has ruined entire areas of the game. Again, why do people allow this? Why do people befriend the bullies? Perhaps they are desperate to fit in, or to be accepted. Perhaps they like the idea of preying on the weak, or those who are different. They remain silent, perhaps out of fear that they will be next, or guilt. They know what is happening is wrong, but why speak up? A bully does not like being spoken against, they will retaliate. One mind-boggling excuse given to me was “They’re really nice ooc”. My reply: They may be nice to you, sweetheart, but they’re savage to everyone who isn’t in their gang. Tolerating such behavior, in character or out, is condoning it. You become part of the problem by your complicity. Soon, even the abuse doesn’t seem so bad. You are just as guilty by wearing their tabard, carrying their name, or professing your friendship. Your reputation is tainted by your association. 

With the issue of cyber-bullying so prevalent in the news, I would think Blizzard would be more proactive on their part to prevent cyber-bullying and protect their user base. The Ignore feature is not a cure-all, especially when an entire guild is set upon harassing and tormenting others. I have heard the argument that trolls “aren’t really hurting anything” and lore-nazis are “only following lore.” This does not make such behavior okay. Abusive behavior is NEVER okay. And until more people and/or Blizzard realizes this, the situation on both my server and others will only get worse.

Finally, I would urge anyone who has been bullied in WoW to speak out. Put in a ticket, phone customer service, or email a game master at WoWGM@Blizzard.com. Find an advocate. Take screenshots. Stand up for your right to play this game without harassment. Bullying is not “cool” it is not “normal” and it is not “just part of the game.” It is wrong.

And for as long as it takes, I will continue to say so.